i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
