id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
where are you?
Hypothermia
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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