Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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