mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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