A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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