He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That reminds me...we need to get swords
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
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