So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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