I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Randomize
