Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
