While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
