I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Randomize
