Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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