I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
