similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
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The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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