i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize