batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
