I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
