My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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