So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize