Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
