I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
