There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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