Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize