i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
