Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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