i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
