I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
