my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
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