Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
