i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
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He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
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I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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