Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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