My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
