Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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