I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
