my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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