Do you still have your period?
Quick, to the slutcave!
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
