this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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