2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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