I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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