Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Randomize
