Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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