just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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