I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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