he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
