Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
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jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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