I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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