so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
