I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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