We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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