u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
