How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
im six kinds of drunk right now
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
