Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
