let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
You smell like stripper and shame
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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