party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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