The best revenge is premature balding
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
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