Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
